Bringin' sexy back
That's right, the return of Rob Gordon. Why? I don't know, I guess I just want to have a forum to say things that no one else is going to read. No pressure, no worries, no concealing. You're entering the no spin zone.
So what's new in my world? Naturally, I'm single again, as I only write when I'm single and sad, right? Dani and I were together for over two years and last night was my first real night alone in our apartment. It was a little hard to swallow, but so far I think I'm going to make it. Of course, I feel sad, she was a wonderful girl, but I have to remember that maybe she was not the girl for me.
It's an interesting situation really... Dani was the first girl I ever seriously considered marrying and I envisioned it and had grown to expect the two of us to spend the rest of our lives together. There's a lot of great things about her that would have made those years great and enjoyable. Yet, there are other things that would have made it tough, and maybe I was being blind and settling. It's odd because she's also the first girlfriend that I seriously considered cheating on. Of course, I never did, when it comes down to it, I'm still a pretty good guy. But I thought about it and even planned on it on more than one occasion. That is obviously not a sign of a healthy relationship.
But I don't know if it's reflective of her or if it's a side effect of what our relationship had become. Early on I knew I loved her and for the first time ever felt good about looking someone in the eyes and telling them I loved them... not saying it because I felt the pressure to say it, but saying it because I genuinely felt it and it felt good saying it. The beginning of our relationship was wonderful and joyous and well, perfect. I had never been so happy being with anyone.
But soon, it's like we flipped a switch and immediately became like an old married couple. We opened the store and everything was work, work, work, and more work. The romance was gone and we forgot to do the things that make relationships fulfilling--big things and small things. Oh we still liked each other and we got along fine for the most part (except when she would slip into her ultra bitch mode), but all we did was work, and we both lost our spunk and our fun-loving selves. Coming home at the end of the day was rarely exciting and life had become a routine.
One day Dani decided she couldn't take it anymore and called it quits. It was probably the right thing to do, as we may have slipped too far down for us ever to recover. Of course, we'll never know. It's terribly sad for me, because I thought we were pretty damn good for each other, but we just couldn't make it work. I know I'm to blame because I didn't try hard enough, but when you start to take things for granted, you don't expect to see the end so near in sight.
If I could go back, I'd do a lot of things differently... I love our store, but I wouldn't do it again. It was too soon for us to get into such a venture together and it really stymied the natural growth of our relationship. And most importantly, I would have held her in my arms every day, told her how much I loved her and how she was the most beautiful girl in my world. Minor details, but maybe things would have turned out differently.
But if I've learned anything over the years, it's not to dwell on the past. I'm trying not to have any regrets and I'm trying to focus on the excitement of a new future, instead of focusing on the wasted past.
Rob carries on...
So what's new in my world? Naturally, I'm single again, as I only write when I'm single and sad, right? Dani and I were together for over two years and last night was my first real night alone in our apartment. It was a little hard to swallow, but so far I think I'm going to make it. Of course, I feel sad, she was a wonderful girl, but I have to remember that maybe she was not the girl for me.
It's an interesting situation really... Dani was the first girl I ever seriously considered marrying and I envisioned it and had grown to expect the two of us to spend the rest of our lives together. There's a lot of great things about her that would have made those years great and enjoyable. Yet, there are other things that would have made it tough, and maybe I was being blind and settling. It's odd because she's also the first girlfriend that I seriously considered cheating on. Of course, I never did, when it comes down to it, I'm still a pretty good guy. But I thought about it and even planned on it on more than one occasion. That is obviously not a sign of a healthy relationship.
But I don't know if it's reflective of her or if it's a side effect of what our relationship had become. Early on I knew I loved her and for the first time ever felt good about looking someone in the eyes and telling them I loved them... not saying it because I felt the pressure to say it, but saying it because I genuinely felt it and it felt good saying it. The beginning of our relationship was wonderful and joyous and well, perfect. I had never been so happy being with anyone.
But soon, it's like we flipped a switch and immediately became like an old married couple. We opened the store and everything was work, work, work, and more work. The romance was gone and we forgot to do the things that make relationships fulfilling--big things and small things. Oh we still liked each other and we got along fine for the most part (except when she would slip into her ultra bitch mode), but all we did was work, and we both lost our spunk and our fun-loving selves. Coming home at the end of the day was rarely exciting and life had become a routine.
One day Dani decided she couldn't take it anymore and called it quits. It was probably the right thing to do, as we may have slipped too far down for us ever to recover. Of course, we'll never know. It's terribly sad for me, because I thought we were pretty damn good for each other, but we just couldn't make it work. I know I'm to blame because I didn't try hard enough, but when you start to take things for granted, you don't expect to see the end so near in sight.
If I could go back, I'd do a lot of things differently... I love our store, but I wouldn't do it again. It was too soon for us to get into such a venture together and it really stymied the natural growth of our relationship. And most importantly, I would have held her in my arms every day, told her how much I loved her and how she was the most beautiful girl in my world. Minor details, but maybe things would have turned out differently.
But if I've learned anything over the years, it's not to dwell on the past. I'm trying not to have any regrets and I'm trying to focus on the excitement of a new future, instead of focusing on the wasted past.
Rob carries on...
posted by E to the C at
3:57 PM
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