Funny

I was going back and reading some of my older posts after the breakup of my last long relationship and boy was I a mess. I was kidding myself into thinking this one would be a walk in the park, because they never are, it's impossible. When someone has been the most important thing in your world for a long time, then suddenly they're not, it's difficult. One day you want to see them, the next, you're trying to distance yourself. Seems a bit crazy, really.

It's hard still seeing her on a regular basis. Sometimes it's nice, but sometimes it's not and all it does really is fuck with my head a bit. In a perfect world, two people break up, they're completely done with one another, they have a little time of sadness and they get on with their lives without each other. We, however, basically have a child together, and this child requires both of our attention, sometimes at the same time. This makes things a little challenging.

Today, for example, we went out to estate sales together and we had such a wonderful, fun time. In fact, for me, it was the most fun I had out shopping with her in a long time. This is both good and bad. Of course, I don't want to have a miserable time with her, but at the same time, this isn't good for the healing process. It's a bit of a conundrum, really. Then there's the fine line of not hanging out outside of the store together. When you're with someone long enough, you become friends with their friends and they become friends with yours. Makes things a little sticky. Odd thing is, however, I haven't been invited to any of her friends' group activities the last couple of weeks, not have I seen any of her friends, yet she's making plans with and hanging out with mine. It's a little disappointing, as I'd prefer her to stay on her own side of the tracks so to speak, but if she's going to disregard my feelings on this matter, there's not much I can really do about it.

In summation, this whole thing is complicated, exciting, saddening and all in all a fucked up mess.