July

July is here, and that can only mean one thing: summer. I vowed at the beginning of the warm season that I was going to spend more time outside this year than in years past. Entering into July, that goal is very well on its way.

The other day, I watched the movie 28 Days with Sandra Bullock (not by choice), and it made me think about one's perception of them self. In the movie, Sandra's character is an out of control drunk and she doesn't see the problems she causes, even when she ruins her sister's wedding. I couldn't stop thinking about my perception of myself versus what other people's perception of me might be. Generally, I think I'm a pretty great guy... I'm a good friend, I'm caring, I'm fun, I'm nice, etc. etc. Perhaps I spend too much time reinforcing the good qualities I have and not enough time recognizing the bad qualities.

An experience recently where I almost lost a friend drove home the point that I can, in fact, at times be incredibly selfish. I don't want to believe that's true, but as the magic eight ball would say, "all signs point to yes." Today marks the three month mark where I made a decision to needlessly forgo someone else's feelings for the sake of my own, doing something I full well knew would cause a problem. I totally abandoned a friend for a girl; a girl I was only interested in because she was young and cute.

The girl is now out of the picture, and after three months, the friend is coming back around. Hopefully things will get back to normal, but more importantly, hopefully the lesson learned will be permanent.